Wednesday 18 May 2011

Sugar

Today was hell, Barney (My agent) rang to inform me that that I had failed in my attempts to be the next face of Sugarweet the cereal for growing children. Apparently Jamie Oliver got it Bastard! he gets all the plum jobs.

Never mind though I have an audition for the Spleen Experimental Theatre Group's version of McBeth I'm up for the part of Harry the psychotic squirrel, so spent most of the morning with my binoculars looking for a squirrel to base my character on. After about an hour and several strange looks I found one, snaffling nuts from a tree in the park. Watching squirrels is dull work and after an hour of intensive observation I left the park with less idea for my motivation than when I started.
Spent the rest of the day in flat trying to find the best way of retrieving a spoon from the side of the cooker. Eventually I settled on a coat hanger which not only retrieved the spoon but made contact with a live wire and caused me to jump backwards at an colossal rate and bang my head on the coffee table. Three hours in casualty! Didn't mind though I'm hoping for an audition for the series of same name so took it as an opportunity to observe a real medical team at work. Learned that I would probably wear more makeup, the doctor that treated me looked positively haggard.

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